Sometimes you don’t choose your Gods they Choose You...
I should preface this with a little background information about myself. I have always been a rebel without a cause and of course become even much more so of rebel when given a cause. When everyone is turning right I must go left usually the reason is arbitrary at best. The more someone pushes me to go with the herd the more I will fight them and I do enjoy a good fight. It may simply be my Cat-ness (see Bast How I met My Mother.)
Many moons ago when I was a young gothling, a wanna be Baby Bat. I had just graduated from highschool and was living on my own and attending the local community college. As one social outcast can only find another. I soon found what was affectionately called Freaks Corner. A section of the cafeteria where all of us misfits hung out in between classes or even during classes, some of us didn’t even attend school there anymore. It was here in Freaks Corner where I graduated from a research Pagan to a practicing Pagan. Freaks Corner was my Mecca, it was everything I always fantasized about in the French Revolution cafes, where writers like Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas met till the wee hours of the morning drinking and debating right there in modern Suburbia. It was HERE that I met my first real Pagans people who knew about the things I was just learning about and not some faceless screen name half a world way via an internet connect but flesh and blood people. And some of the very worst kind of Pagans I could have fallen with. I learned much during my time there everything except what I was taking classes on. In between LARPing Vampire the Masquerade and playing Magic the Gathering was discussions on Nietzsche, Satanism and Anarchy. This is also where I met my first Unofficial Teacher.
I say unofficial because she refused to teach me. She had taken many a student under her wing but always refused my requests. Finally, she told me that she only teaches those who are not naturally gifted. That she was the “Special Ed” teacher. I never fully accepted this flattering refusal and figured that there was another reason she would never tell me. As one who was never easily deterred I learned much from her by simply watching and observing. In this group of people were those who dabbled in things they shouldn’t. Soon theirs eyes started to gleam with a sheen that is a characteristic often associated with movie villains. Everyone in the group started to go off their hinges a bit and the rumors ran rampant. There was talk of demon summoning and animal sacrifice none of which I was a part of nor saw. I shrugged most of it off as vicious gossip and did my best to not get involved.
My life took a turn as it does and I was pulled away from the group I would not run into any of them until years later. I had just come out of the Broom Closet to my then husband and was looking for those of like mind that I could share my beliefs with. When I ran into the old group from Freaks Corner who had graduated to taking up space in a local coffee house. Upon running into my old mentor this time I was drawn into the web like that of a fly to a spider. She had a habit of holding court and at a friend's place around the corner where she would proceed to channel and let herself be ridden by the spirits of her choice, much to the awe and amusement to those in her audience. At the time the things I experienced in that room was extremely convincing and scary. The things I took part of in my own ignorance. Looking back now I do wonder how much of it was real and how much of it was a great manipulation, an answer I shall never know.
It was during such a session that the name of Set was brought up. She had stated that someone in the group had caught his attention and that he would be watching them. At which point my eye was drawn upward and what did I see. It was like a great ripping of the fabric of reality someone one had pulled way the ceiling and was peering in. With big eyes and a cheshire grin staring right at me. Having already been thoroughly attached to Bast at this time she warmly said that no harm would come to me. He simply wanted to get to know me better.
Now understand I am NOT an Egyptian reconstructionist and never was. I did not know who Set was at the time and didn’t really know the Egyptian Pantheon. I was still searching and that was simply not a direction my quest had gone. While I am thankful for those who research and preserve the Egyptian traditions it was simply never anything that worked for me.
That moment of meeting Set was fall of 2005. 2006 was my year of Hell. Set was literally invoked into my life and he literally destroyed everything that was not needed. For those that read Tarot it was like getting the Death card and the Tower card in the same reading. I was completely stripped bare of everything that I had built up from before that time and had to completely start from scratch. I lost my home, my business, divorced my husband, became seriously ill. He was a sand storm that came into my life and ripped me down to my bones. His only response to my pleas of mercy was. I like my children strong you will survive or perish. Anything else matters not.
I have learned that Set is the Epitome of Tough Love. Sink or Swim. I do not regret that time. I learned so much in such a short time. While the learning process was painful one does not forget those lesson because the pain has etched them into your memory. And the rewards of survival the rewards of succeeding after such tribulations ARE GREAT. My reward was ROCKY.