I worked a New Modeling gig today it went well despite getting off to a rough start. I was 10 mins late because I couldn’t find the building. I hate being late. In an industry where people are notoriously flakey, being late is an even bigger no no. Sure you may only be a couple of mins late but you are going up against the preconceived notion because of the last person who no called no showed. So when you are late they immediately wonder if you are coming or not. Ah, Showbiz oh how I love you!
I have an article of the Newest Issue of Mystik Way Magazine that can be read HERE. It is about dance and spirituality.
I have turned down yet another opportunity to do burlesque. I miss the stage but I am not ready yet. My love got corrupted by politics and money and it became work. My muse still wants to play in other areas anytime I mention the “B” word my muse runs in the opposite direction. I can only guess that I am still grieving. When I love, I love hard, I love with my whole soul. And my soul got crushed. I am sure people are tired of hearing me bitch and moan about burlesque. Oh well...
I have written a short story a retelling of an ancient myth. I wrote all four pages of it in one gigantic burst. I am not sure what I want to do with it. Post it to my blog or submit it to be published. If I post it to my blog then that is considered self publishing and some of the more traditional publishing avenues won’t touch it after that. However, I hate writing something and not having it seen, it just seems like such a waste.
I really enjoyed the vending from the last couple of weeks. That just feels like what I am supposed to be doing. It makes me miss EWB. I loved running the store, counselling people and helping them shop. When I do go back to performing it will take a secondary position in my life. While I enjoy writing it may too take a secondary position. Why you ask? Well these are things I do because I love and I have learned the hard way that by trying to keep a rough over your head doing things you love changes why you do them. That when they become work and you start to resent them. Modeling is work, House of Cyanide Curios is work, writing and dancing I do that because I enjoy it, period. I lost focus of that, mainly because I was listening and trying to please everyone else. Hopefully I have learned my lesson THIS time. I really don’t want to have to repeat this lesson again. I know I am like the girl who never quits talking about her ex. It been a year and I am still whining.
C’est la vie,
La Femme Crève-cœur