Question of the day: What Tarot card represents you?

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on January 19, 2013 at 7:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Question of the day: What Tarot card represents you? In my deck, Tarot of the Cat People- I am represented by the Page of Pentacles. On this card is a girl curled up in a winged backed chair in a library with a book and her cat. The Page of Pentacles is a card of dreams and the desire to manifest those dreams in the material world.

Holiday Season Wishlist for the Grinch

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on December 1, 2012 at 12:00 AM Comments comments (0)

So many of you know I am just not a big fan of the December Holiday Season. I am definitely a big Grinch this time of the year. I love giving gifts to my friends JUST because I don't like giving gifts because I feel obligated. However if this time of year is your thing and you really get into the season and want to get your favorite Grinch something... Here is a list of my Needs/ Wants.  These are in No Particular Order.


  • Mortar and Pestle- I don't have one and never have. I would really like one to make Magical Chalk, Cascarilla, etc, etc  


    Home & Garden Sell 3 for about $12 + shipping

 This Granite one is about $25 + Shipping


  • Blender, Food processor, Hand Blender Etc. I broke my last one 7 years ago and have been making everything by hand. It sucks...

  • Alice in Wonderland/ Cheshire Cat is always a safe bet.  

Things I don't Need or Want

  1. Things that don't have a purpose or a use. I have a small place and no room for knicknaks. 
  2. Christmas Stuff, ornaments, decorations etc One year this was all I got, it was the worst year ever! 
  3. Body products or Make UP I already have a TON although I do like it ;)
  4. Jewelry Same as above I have a ton.
  5. Clothes I'm super picky and unless I am with you to try it on it probably won't fit right.


A Bloody Goddess

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on September 22, 2012 at 1:25 AM Comments comments (0)
Moon & Witch Comments & Graphics
~Magickal Graphics~

There are problems that are unique to being a Professional Naked Person that one would simply never encounter otherwise. It was one such problem that got me thinking and having to sit still for an hour without moving, I did a lot of thinking. *Smiles*


You see, I model Nude almost everyday and some days multiple times a day. There are a bevy of things that clothing can hide from the human eye. As much as clothing original purpose was to keep us warm, in modern times its purpose has evolved. Giving us privacy and camouflaging the things we don’t want the public to see. When you are nude in public that camouflage is gone and one is exposed in all their glory, for all the world to see.


There is a common cliche of the fear of being naked while giving a speech in front of a group of people. This is almost a daily part of my life, alas this has never been a fear of mine and certainly isn’t one now. *Smiles* However..... I did have a fear about being Nude in Public and having that fear made me realize how messed up our Society is when it comes to Women's bodies.


That fear you ask? That fear has to do with Menstruation. When I model of course I wear tampons and I take the time to “tuck” the string. However I have a paranoid fear that one day while modeling in front of a group of people that I may “Spring a Leak” if you will, despite all of my best efforts. I became terrified that people would think I was dirty and unclean, Unsanitary.


Then I realized how crazy this fear was. 1. It is not something that I can control. 2. It is a part of being human and a Woman. 3. I am not just going to call in sick because of it. 4. The “blood of Life” should not be a curse. It should be looked at as the gift it. No matter how painful.



"The esoteric secret of the gods was that their mystical powers of longevity, authority, and creativity came from the same female essence. The Norse god Thor for example reached the magick and of enlightenment and eternal life by bathing in a river filled the menstrual blood of "giantesses" that is of the Primal Matriarchs, "Powerful Ones" who governed the elder gods before Odin brought his "Asians" (Aesir) out of the east. Odin acquire supremacy by stealing and drinking the "wise blood" form the triple cauldron in the womb of Mother-Earth, the Triple Goddess know as Kali-Maya in southeast Asia.


Odin's theft of menstrual magic paralleled that of Indra, who stole the ambrosia of immortality in the same way. Indian myth called the sacred fluid Soma in Greek, "the body", because the word's eastern root referred to a mystical substance of the body. Soma was the object of so much holy dread that its interpretations were many. Soma was produced by churning of the primal sea "ocean of blood" or sometimes "sea of milk". Soma was drank by priests at sacrificial ceremonies and mixed with mild as a healing charm; therfore it was not milk. Soma was especially revered on somvara, Monday, the day of the moon. In an ancient ceremony called Soma-vati, women of Maharashtra circumambulated the sacred female symbolic fig tree whenever the new moon fell on a Monday.


A combination of honey and menstrual blood was once considered the universal elixir of life, the "nectar" manufactured by Aphrodite and her sacred bees, which kept the very gods alive. Similarly, the great secret of Norse mythology was that the gods nectar of wisdom, inspiration, literacy, magic, and eternal life was a combination of honey and "wise blood" from the great Cauldron in the bell of Mother Earth trough a late patriarchal revision claimed this hydromel or honey-liquid was a mixture of honey with the blood of a male sacrificial victim known as Wisest of Men. The honeymoon of a lunar month would inclue a menstrual period, the real source of what ws euphemistically called the moon-honey or honeymoon. The honey moon spanned a lunar month, usually in May, the month of pairings, named after the Goddess as the Virgin Maya. In an archaic period, sacred kings seem to have been destroyed after a 28 day honeymoon with the Goddess, spanning a lunar cycle, as the queen bee destroys her drone-bridegroom by tearing out his genitals. A bridegroom contacted the source of life by copulating with his bride during menstruation, according to the oldest oriental belief. Even the Great God Shiva was helpless unless his phallus was baptized in blood from the vagina of Kali-Maya, his Shakti and mother, in the Tantric ritual known as Maharutti.


Egyptian pharaohs became divine by ingesting "the blood of Isis", a soma-like ambrosia called sa. Its hieroglyphic sign was the same as the sign of the vulva, a yonic loop like the one on the ankh or Cross of Life. Painted red, this loop signified the female genital and the gate of Heaven. Amulets buried with the dead specifically prayed Isis to deify the deceased with her magic blood. A special amulet called the Tjet represented Isis's vulva and was formed of red substance jasper, carnelian, red porcelain, red glass, or red wood. This amulet was said to carry the redeeming power of the blood of Isis."  From Barbara Walker's Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets


So in a long line of Goddesses I embrace my Life Blood for the Holy Elixir it is. When I see its Bright Redness against my Pale Thigh I will know I am Goddess Incarnate as is every Woman.

BFPW- day two The Cave

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on September 15, 2012 at 9:50 PM Comments comments (0)

We all got up early that morning to help cleanup the hall and take down all the decorations. Or I should say everybody else did while I roamed around aimless desperately trying to wake up enough to function. Morning Person I am not.

The after the clean up and breakfast we all went and explored Dragon Cave.

 Photo Patrick Brehm

I just noticed that super creepy thing standing just to the right of my freind Amber.

Oustide of the cave. Photo Patrick Brehm

Inside looking out Photo Rocky

Another by Rocky 

We were going to have a drum circle and play in the cave all night, but we got ratted out to the parks department shortly after this was taken and we had to leave.

Photo Patrick Brehm

Lunch at Denny's all 20somthing of us at once. We all looked like crap from hiking and no one cared ;)

After regrouping for getting kicked out of the cave we took over a Pavalion by the hotels and partied into the wee hours of the morning.

Photo Patrick Brehm

Loki breathed some fire

Photo Patrick Brehm

FyreByrd danced with Fire

Photo Patrick Brehm

The rest of the night is a blur of Homemade meade and oaths and boosts.

BFP Wedding the day Of

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on September 7, 2012 at 5:20 PM Comments comments (2)

So Traveling whenever a Lokian is involved is always a little bit more of an adventure then one could ask for. After having a communication snafu with our pet sitter, we ended up taking Studley with us. Which led to all sorts of complications, but I will get to that later. Thursday the Boys and Girls split up so Studley, Rocky and Loki whisked off to Meramec State Park, while FyreByrd stole me to her moms house. We spent the afternoon decorating and setting up the Reception Hall, while that evening all the bridesmaids stayed at her moms house. Instead of doing the typical thing and playing with hair and makeup the night before we all custom painted parasol’s. Which is very much a Fyrebyrd thing to do, She and two other bridesmaid’s all graduated with Art degrees from Webster.

This is my Parasol

After the painting was done we celebrated with Pink Wine and Pink Pie at 2am. The pie her Mom made especially for me as I am a diabetic. *smiles*


Photo courtsey of Kaylese

The Morning of the wedding we woke bright and early. The Bride had dashed off to get her hair done and the rain had started to pour. We realized that the paper parasols we had painted the night before would not hold up in the rain. So off to the store dashed her mom and one of the bridesmaids to pick up an aerosol paint protector so that the parasols would not dissolve in the rain. Upon getting to the wedding site we obviously could not have the ceremony where it was originally planned so the reception hall had to be taken down after all the work we had did the night before. Rocky and Loki were joking that if they had to ever move a table again they were going to lose it. So while the boys were reading the ceremony site I quickly did the bride’s make up and my own. (never hurts to have a makeup artist in your bridal party *Smiles*.) So after years of planning and months of preparation the Time had come. During the reception, I snuck away with D and another Bridesmaid to clean the trashed hotel room that the guys had been staying in. *Boys are Gross*

Loki and Ann in the Infamous Hotel room. Photo courtsey Ann

The Dj never made it out because of the tornadoes hitting St. Louis. Soo.. the Reverends brought out their boom box and we danced the night away anyway. FyreByrd later remarked to me that weddings are a lot like shows. You make a plan of what you want, everything goes to hell, You Improvise, Adapt and Overcome. We're pretty used to chaos at this point especially having a Lokian and a Setite around. We seem to thrive on it. And that reminds me of a Joke. “A Lokian and a Setite walk into a Bar.... Hey, where did everyone go?”

Big Fat Pagan Wedding

Posted by Sugar Cyanide on September 4, 2012 at 2:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Loki and Fyrebyrd got married this weekend. It was a four day affair and those in the bridal party it was more of a week long extravaganza. The above shot is from the offical wedding photoagrapher. Williams and Meyer Photography

The rest of the shots in this post are courtsey of Patrick J. Brehm another professional photographer who was with us throughout the weekend as a wedding guest. :)


Photo Pat B.

The day after the wedding was clean up day and party day for those that remained and "worked" the wedding I.E. handled everything so the Bride and groom could relax. However it couln't be just any old party no it hand to be done with splash and with Pagan Style like ina Cave.....

Photo Pat B

There are a bunch more photos but they have yet to be uploaded.

The next day was a float trip. Rocky and I begged off because fun in the sun is just not our speed and well we needed some down time.

The last day we visited Riverside Wildlife Center and got to play with all kinds of wild creatures. Like ....


Photo Pat B

Like a Tiger named Jasmine and a baby alligator

Photo Pat B

There are a Ton more photos as there were several professional and sudo professional photags taking pics the whole time. It is just going to take a while for them all to surface. So this is just really a teasor until I can do the big post.  Photos courtsey of  Williams & Meyer and Patrick Brehm 


Posted by Sugar Cyanide on September 3, 2012 at 9:50 PM Comments comments (0)

Home from Epic Pagan weddingness. I'm exhausted and have a huge update for you. I will do that soon. I am going to relax and pass out.


Posted by Sugar Cyanide on August 28, 2012 at 7:50 PM Comments comments (0)

I love wrapping and decorating presents, sometimes to me the act of wrapping can be silly or speacil. I like to use found items or reuse items I have had for wrapping getting creative in the process.  Loki and Fyrbyrd are getting married this weekend and having gave them their preseant last night, I thought I would share the silly wrapping that I did for them. All of the brides maids have been meeting up every Monday for the last 2 months to help prepare for the wedding. It is a FOUR DAY EVENT lol, anyhoo one of the many jokes that got tossed around while crafting for the wedding was if it is messed up cover it in glitter and no one will notice.  This joke stems from my being a burlesque performer and not knowing how to sew that well. So it was with this thought in mind while I was thinking of a way to wrap their gift.  

It all started with this bundle of leaves. 

I wrapped them together and then dried them out.  Once Dry I spray painted them with silver metilac spray paint, their colors are black , silver and blue.   One that was done I went to town with glitter, feather and glue.   

This definietly their most uniquely wrapped wedding gift. Oh and I gave them dishes so I had to make the outside fun or at least weird.